Keep ex’s medical marijuana away from kids

My ex had cancer years ago and used a lot of medical marijuana. One of the reasons for our divorce was his carelessness with the marijuana around our children – leaving food on the counters near their snacks, etc. I learned last week that his cancer had returned. I feel terrible for him, but I’m also incredibly nervous that his old habits will return. He is remarried and has two young children. And he has our teenage daughters every other weekend.

I worry that our girls are of the age where easy access will encourage experimentation. I am also concerned about her younger brothers. I don’t know how to deal with this without looking like a terrible person. What are my options?

One way is to change your children’s parental leave until your ex is fine. However, that doesn’t go down well with your ex, children, or the judge regardless of your good intentions. There are better options to try first.

You need to have a very honest conversation with your teenage daughters. It would be best if you and your ex can get on the same page and have the conversation together. Sit down and explain to him that he is sick and that medical marijuana can sometimes help with this type of illness. Explain that it is NOT okay for them to try just because he uses it, even if it is exposed or if they find it. Tell them that any experiment they might want to do could harm their father because he won’t have what he needs when he needs it. In putting it this way, you give them something serious when tempted. Also explain the dangers to their developing brains from taking his medication.

Talk to his wife. Instead of pointing your finger at him, warn them that the last time he was so sick that he was not always able to clean up behind himself and that your children could find his edibles nearby. That way, it sounds like you only care about her kids and she’ll know that she needs to keep an eye on them.

Also explain to your girls that while marijuana is bad for them, it is very bad for their younger brothers, so it would be good if they could help their brothers especially while their father is sick.

With a bit of luck, you can all pull together and be the supportive team your ex needs right now. However, if you have a tendency that the “right” course of action is failing, you can always ask the court to intervene – at least you can say that this was your last resort.

Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com